HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK, LIZA AND JAMES

American writer Jack Kerouac

Hi again and happy March 12. According to my astrologer, today was an interesting one to be born on. Some really famous people came into the world on that date; including Sir John Abbott, third prime minister of Canada; the writer Jack Kerouac; singers Marlon Jackson, Al Jarreau, Liza Minelli and James Taylor; American gangster Sammy "The Bull" Gravano, actor Ron Jeremy; actress Barbara Feldon; me.

So thank you for all the emails and e-birthday cards. And to the several of you who wanted to know how old I am, sorry, but I’m a holdover from the administration of President Bill Clinton. I don’t ask and I don’t tell.

According to my health care provider, there are two ages; the one on the birth certificate and the one at the doctor’s office. The first, of course, is based on when your parents did their part. The second is your health age and that’s determined, all other factors being equal, on how healthy a lifestyle you lead.

My life expectancy is about 98 or so and I’m pushing for the century mark, if nothing else but to totally piss off all those folks who were hoping I’d crossed over at one of the several points in my life when that was more a likelihood than surviving long enough to elevate sarcasm to high art.

Happiness is the best revenge but longevity is right up there with dying in bed with a beautiful woman a third my age and finally figuring out what one hand clapping sounds like.

If attitude is all, I’m well motivated toward longevity. There are a lot of things I want to accomplish in this life, most of it centered around providing for my family and community.

I want to live long enough to see a black single gay woman in the White House; the Hamas get into the bar mitzvah catering business; both American political parties to find symbols which don’t slander the animal kingdom; my home, native land and beloved Canada to stop clubbing baby harp seals; and the human colonization of Mars.

I want to be around long enough to drive an electric car from Vancouver, British Columbia to Halifax, Nova Scotia without needing a 15,400,000 foot extension cord. BC Hydro is moving on putting the whole province on that kind of power grid and what’s also cool is that they’re subcontracting some of the work to an American outfit in Arizona.

I’d like to see the day when one in 50 American children does NOT experience homelessness. To me, in a nation as rich as this, that is absolutely unconscionable and the only excuse for it is the kind of greed that mocks compassion and totally trashes any concept of human decency.

I also want to see just how high the tides of the oceans of the world will rise before we get global warming under control. I’ve been having these weird (pizza before bedtime inspired) dreams of being in Denver and seeing a woody full of blond beach people driving by yelling, "Surf’s up."

And I’m curious about how many more Washington State public servants President Obama is going to recruit for duty along the Potomac. The latest is Seattle Police Chief Gil Kerlikowske, who has been tapped to be the new Drug Czar. So far, we’ve sent a former governor and a King County executive "east of the mountains".

And as far as this old aging thing? American humorist Mark Twain suggested that if a person couldn’t reach old age by their own road, they shouldn’t go. I’ve observed that some of us get older, some of us get better; and some of us get better as we get older. The choice seems pretty much up to us.

Until next time, then, take care, stay well and God Bless.

Rusty